LOTRO: Monty Python Yule Festival Ending?

15 Jan


STAGE [Small bare room, door right and trap door in floor.]


“I apologizes for the delay, my walk has become particularly silly of late and it takes longer for him to reach my destination. And it’s a long walk from Moria”

Looks around empty room and states, “Right, that’s it! I’ve had enough!”

PEOPLES FRONT OF MORIA [bursting up through a trapdoor in the floor…]

“We are the PFM, If you want to join you have to really hate turbines.”

In unison…“We do…”

“Not to be confused with Popular Peoples Front…”

In unison ”SPLITTERS!”

KNIGHTS THAT SAY NI [A shoddy looking knight jumps out of the crowd]

“I thought we were the Knights that said Ni…?” [the crowd gives full attention]

“We are the Knights that say Ni!” he shouts…

Looking embarrassed, feebly…

”Ni” his courage leaving him at the last…[absorbed back into the crowd.]

PARROT [The door opens and a young man pops his head in]

Asks, “Ello, this where I can complain about dead parrots?”

[Waves a dead parrot in a cage through the door…, the crowd looks at the Minister]

He continues, “Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there! It DEAD”

The Minister replies “No its not… “

DON QUIXOTE [The Young Man is about to answer when he is pulled away from the door and a strangely dressed man with a long twisted mustache and a colander on his head bursts into the room]

With a posh English accent, “I say chaps have you a ‘Giants pretending to be Windmills problem’ that needs addressing here?”

All turn to him and scream, “No! TURBINES!”

The Minister points out, ”Now…wait a minute…Monty Python have never done a Don Quixote sketch…?”

[…looks at the crowd in anticipation…]

“For Freedom from oppressive TURBINES for Middle Earth …and not dead parrots”

[All charge after the Don Quixote out of the room. The minister legs after them.]

[Slowly the room starts to darken…]

MR. CREOSOTE [A large bulky shape appears in the trapdoor, it’s a hugely fat man, with a mouth surrounded with food remains and gripping in both hands an after eight mint, almost as if it was an explosive…]

“Well can TURBINE please inform us of when the Yule Festival will end or I will eat this mint!”

FOOT [A huge pink foot flies down from the sky and squashes Mr. Creosote.]


(Monty Python: a worded rebus gave me the image of a Canadian Mountie filled pie which weighs a ton!)


2 days after the advertised end date of the Yule Festival 2015, Jan 13th, and it continues, I still have not won a hobby horse but was expecting to be able to get back to more normal LOTRO activities…ie progressing slowly through ME…Mirkwood the area of exploration of late.


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