LOTRO: Dour ‘andle!

16 Jan

While searching for The Doors album cover, Google popped up a photo of someone in a hobbit hole door, turns out to be Mr. Peter Jackson. Google knows me so well…


I was fascinated and followed the link to a great science post on DOOR HANDLES! Really!

READ: http://scienceblogs.com/principles/2012/11/16/hobbits-and-prime-ministers-the-physics-of-doors/

Specifically the science involved in placing/using a door knob placed in the center of the door as illustrated above.

Also discussion of Nr.10 Downing Street (Prime Minister of GB’s official residence) which also has a central door knob (and many would also point out a big knob inside and I wouldn’t disagree at all!)

Fascinating stuff… ends up mentioning hinges as well, which was the first thing I though when I saw the pic above…wouldn’t it become unhinged…LOL a bit like me…

So to wrap up a classic British comedy sketch: Four Candles

(Some discussion about the denouement: Bill Hooks, can be pronounced ‘bollocks’ and if your not sure what that is you better look it up, safe to say some probably think my blog is a ‘load of bollocks’.)

Sauron answered the door of Barad-dûr…
Angry at being disturbed, (and also not having a body as such)…,
“I am Sauron, the Dark Lord of Mordor. What the F*** do you want?”
The small hobbit who had knocked was unfazed by this greeting,
“Sir I am a humble hobbit salesman, I noticed this tower from afar and was wondering if you would perchance be interested in my wares?”
The Dark Lord suddenly interested in this brazen hobbit door to door seller,
“And what you floggin little  un?”
“‘Andles is my name and ‘andles is my game, oh Dark Lord, I think you need a new dour ‘andle!

2 Responses to “LOTRO: Dour ‘andle!”

  1. NaktiesKarys January 18, 2015 at 05:15 #

    Dark Lord: tell me, puny little Hobbit, what is it that I still do not have?
    Hobbit: body?
    Dark Lord: one more trolling and I will smash you in 65536 pieces!
    Hobbit: My good Sir, you are still without bady and Magic Hobbit Present could grant you one!
    Dark Lord: Blah blah, last time Nazgul offered me stew from toads and wargs it was worse than some Gendalf the Weed Smoker…
    Hobbit: My shiny stew could granty you a body, Sir. And the price is reasonable.
    Dark Lord: get the out!
    Hobbit:…and of course, such good Sir would make a dinner for little Hobbit…
    Dark Lord (screaming): get the out!
    Hobbit: perhabs good Sir would be interested in this necklace? or that shiny copper brooche? Or that…
    (Nazgul enters and kicks Hobbit back to the Shire)>
    Dark Lord: thanks.

    Meanwhile in the Shire poor Hobbit looks at some shiny rune-inscribed ring.
    Hobbit: Ring of power to rule them all, blah blah blah. Hope old Baggins would give me one ale for that…

    • tsuhelm January 19, 2015 at 07:36 #


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