Tag Archives: Hobbit

LOTRO: The Adventures Of Opopa 1

24 Jul

Chapter 1

BINGO

‘Mama was queen of the mambo, papa was king of the Congo
Deep down in the jungle, I started bangin’ my first bongo
Every monkey’d like to be in my place instead of me
‘Cause I’m the king of bongo, baby, I’m the king of bongo bong’

Opopa was as surprised as the rest of the Bird and Baby when he lurched from his barstool, it had been his home and resting place for over a year, it even had a name, Sid … a slight foreshortening of, “Oh shut’ap n sid’own!”, uttered loudly many a time by fellow drinkers at Opopa. Sid started to cool as Opopa’s fatty arse left its resting place and walked off. It was a happy stool in that it knew that it would soon be warmed up again by said buttocks, these little occasional trips were an infrequent but regular occurrence. Sid would prove to be disappointed, as much as an inanimate bar stool can be, in that Opopa shocked everyone by leaving by the main door, a waft of fresh air and sunlight crept into the bird and baby but was quickly overcome by the fumes of ale, weed smoke and the general gloom generated from small overcrowded bars full of customers. The regulars were a mixed bag as always, mostly jolly hobbits whiling their lives away with an occasional adventurer from rarer parts, a noticeable increase of their like of late, odd times indeed. Everyone expected Opopa to reappear, embarrassed, more red in the face than normal, having taken the wrong door to the ‘facilities’, it had happened before. All were further shocked when they gathered after a small passage of time spent staring at the door expectantly, that he had either passed out or gone off. A momentary moments silence was shared among the drinkers, glasses raised and then normality once again interceded and the Bird and Baby went back to normal.

Sid continued to cool, he did what all bar stools do in this situation which was send subliminal signals out to all n sundry that, ‘Drinking was good.’, ‘The bar was where to get drinks.’ and that, ‘Although one drink is good, two or more is better!’ and finally ‘While you’re standing waiting at the bar why don’t you pull up a barstool and rest those aching footsies.’ When the unsuspecting barstool has reeled in a victim it then reinforces its hold with messages that reinforce comfort and remind the user of the proximity to the bar, indeed that, ‘Others are more likely to spill or even steal your drink the further away from the bar you are.’

This is obviously a triple symbiotic relationship for all concerned, the punter, the stool and of course, the publican who can sell more drinks which explains there very existence as they are always so bloody uncomfortable, realized always after the fact; the barstool would have done well, would it could, to evolve softer wood. Some barstools counter this by wearing a hat, but many think that they interfere with the telepathic signals.

‘I went to the big town where there is a lot of sound
From the jungle to the city
Looking for a bigger crown
So I play my boogie for the people of big city’

Opopa breathed in the fresh air and sobered up quickly. The sun was shining in the persistent shire spring, it was warm and dazzling. His thieving instincts had kicked in all of a sudden; somewhere there was loot up for grabs. Not the free loot that appeared daily in the form of hobbit presents which had maintained him in the laconic lifestyle he had been having. Loot, loot that had never been, loot that never ever before had been! New Loot, the world had never, ever, ever, seen. And it was coming soon, and coming to Michel Delving. Opopa knew this, one legged at birth and fitted with a small peg leg throughout his life; you could not tell outwardly that it was so. Internally he knew he was hopping when others saw him walking. He hoped that others would not use a saw and see him hop. Life is a see-saw of possibilities sometimes.  Anyway, this wood had somehow imparted its latent telepathic powers into Opopa who had become a burglar of repute, a repute of idleness, not so much for skill or daring-do, but he was always there for a free hand out!

Sometimes he was too early!

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Opopa checked the mail box in the Auction House again, and again. It was still empty!  Confused Opopa walked back to the Bird and Baby. Sid had been taken but it was not hard for Opopa the burglar to steal it back. Sipping his beer he slid back into his normal daily routine of doing nothing much. At some point he absent-mindedly mumbled, “Bingo, what kind of name is that for a hobbit…”

‘But they don’t go crazy when I’m bangin’ in my boogie
I’m the, king of the bongo, king of the bongo bong
Hear me when I come
King of the bongo, king of the bongo bong’

The next day the same sense of forelooting incentivized Opopa to return to the postbox and would ya ‘Adam n Eve it’ there was a letter. A letter from a Bingo Boffin…

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‘Request for assistance!

Hullo there, and well-met! I hope this missive is not intruding upon anything important. And if by unhappy chance it I, then I am sure you will disregard it and take no offence. But it is my very sincere hope that it does not intrude, and instead is met with some degree of interest and curiosity in the matter I propose. For, you see, I have need of some help worth a small matter, and…

Well I say ‘small’ matter, but I do not know how long it might take. It could end up being quite a ‘big’ matter as these things go! But we will not know until it is quite underway. Will we?’

If you are interested in learning more, I ask that you please seek me out at my comfortable hobbit-hole just north of the town hole, in Michel Delving. Being the principal town of the Shire.

Yours in need and looking forward to your positive reply

Mr. Bing Boffin, Michel-Delving’

After shaking the envelope a few times, just in case he had missed something, a small gem or other small precious item would be nice! Opopa was intrigued. He decided to follow this up. ‘Once the path to loot had been started it must be followed to its conclusion.’ a personal motto of his, which also contained a hidden ending clause of, ‘…unless it passes close to a bar’. And that ‘closeness’ was applied very subjectively, and often, by Opopa.

Opopa’s extrasensory senses guided him north, a virtual arrow pointing the way to Bingo. It was almost as if he had a visible mental map, yeah just up and right in his field of vision, it even showed monsters as red dots at times. Sometimes that was real useful and at other times it drove him quite dotty. There Bingo was, in the distance, outside a hobbit hole… flaming gold ring burning brightly in the sun, the usual indicator that his forelooting sense was active. Sometimes his powers overcompensated almost as if teasing him, yes he knew that was a door next to Bingo, why it should state in glowing white writing in his head was beyond him.

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‘They say that I’m a clown
Making too much dirty sound
They say there is no place for little monkey in this town
Nobody’d like to be in my place instead of me’

Bingo looked like a normal hobbit his most stand out feature being his shiny bright hair; he was jolly and eager to start conversation with Opopa, not bothered by his raffish looks or slight odour of stale ale and weed smoke.

“A pleasant day to you, friend. If you have a moment or two to spare, do you think I might trouble you for a spell?”

‘Not bloody likely!’ thought Opopa, who knew nothing of spells, but Bingo continued before he could voice his concerns…

“My name is Bingo, of the Delving-field Boffins, and it is so rare to see new folk on the path that runs by my hole. It is a pleasure to meet you!”

“Well you did send me a letter, and I have been in these parts for quite some time, thereover in the Bird n Baby actually…”, Opopa points over in the direction of the pub…

Bingo continued oblivious to Opopa’s words, “I have been feeling a mite lonely these days, you see, and could use a festive occasion on the horizon to put a spring in my step and to occupy my thought. Perhaps a dinner-party would do the trick? Yes, that sounds capital! I will invite my neighbours, and you as well, of course!”

“Well I don’t know…a dinner party?” Opopa had run off with a nice silver candlestick in his pocket after the last dinner party he had been invited to, and he smiled inwardly at the thought of free good food, fine wines and home brewed ales, in fact he possibly started to salivate. He was getting a bit tired of the same pub grub and nice as the beer selection was at the Bird n Baby it was a little limited. Variety was of course the spice of life… “Yeah! Sure. But how can I help?”

“Could you run down to the Michel Delving market and assess some of the produce on display? Tell me what foods look particularly delicious, and that may give me the spark of inspiration for a course or three to serve at my party!” Bingo points behind over Opopa’s shoulder, “The market is to the south-east of my hobbit-hole.”

‘Why not?’ thought Opopa, and he turned around and headed off to the market.

‘Cause nobody go crazy when I’m bangin’ on my boogie
I’m the, king of the bongo, king of the bongo bong
Hear me when I come
King of the bongo, king of the bongo bong’

Well if variety was the spice of life, the market was close to death: there were some delicious greens, ripe apples and a small mountain of potatoes. With nothing else to inspect Opopa wandered over to a hobbit sat next to a pie, there was a golden forelooting ring above his head which another instinct always warned him away from, something to do with lots of work for small reward, but today he decided to get close to that hobbit and his pie! It sure did look tasty and smelt wonderful, but Hugo, who’s pie it was, refused to hand it over. Unless he was to return it to Holly Hornblower in Hobbington, it was something to do with being spoiled with bad berries. The Green Dragon is in Hobbington but it is fulla too many arty, poety types which interfere with the drinking too much for Opopa’s taste so he declined.

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“Well that’s that” He exclaimed to no-one in particular and decided there was nothing else to see, his lootification inner sense informed him that four items inspected was quite sufficient for Bingo, which did give him slight misgivings about the upcoming dinner party fare.

‘Bangin’ on my bongo all that swing belongs to me
I’m so happy there’s nobody in my place instead of me
I’m a king without a crown hanging loose in a big town
But I’m the king of bongo baby, I’m the king of bongo bong’

He hadn’t noticed before that the Bounders statue had been worked upon yet again. He had contributed Bounder Tokens to that but in far from large amounts enough to be memorized on the actual plaque attached. And the gardens and bushes all looked rather nice. He spotted Polo hiding behind the statue. ‘Cor blimey!’ He thought. ‘That’s all this kid does all day, and why does he hide there in plain sight?’ He promptly demonstrated to himself that the new pink flower bushes made a much more superior hiding place. Polo smirked at Opopa but it was not that strange to Polo as he had seen drunk Opopa doing much stranger things!

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Opopa picked off the last pink petals as he walked back to Bingo who looked pleased to see him so quickly returned. After Opopa had explained about the apples and the potatoes and the greens, Bingo was not down heartened and seemed more fired up than ever about his dinner and now suggested that some cookery books in Tuckborough be referenced… The lootification sense was still pulling strongly at his soul so he decided to persist in the endeavor to help Bingo.

Thoughts of a cold beer tried to distract him, the slight pull of Sid tried to exert itself, even from this distance, they had built up quite a rapport by now. “The loot is strong within this one.” Muttered Opopa to himself as he mounted up on his pony for his trip to the library…

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‘King of the bongo, king of the bongo bong
Hear me when I come, baby
King of the bongo, king of the bongo bong’

Manu Chau – ‘Bongo Bong

The madness will continue…

LOTRO: The adventures of Opopa: Bingo, COVER

23 Jul

Bingo

Characters

Opopa – One legged hobbit burglar (wooden leg, you could never tell if you didn’t know!)

Bingo Boffin –  a hobbit who wants to PARTY!

Sid – a barstool

An annoying Elf with no name…
A hobbit librarian…
Vegetables!
A spoiled pie makes a guest appearance!

Chapter 1 starts tomorrow…

CAN YOU WAIT!

Lets go play BINGO!

NOW!

LOTRO: Dali for a DAY: Lollipop!

5 May

lolipop

From one piece of information can come a whole surreal post:

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The logo above was designed by Dali! 

ChupaChups

‘Chupa Chups is a popular Spanish brand of lollipop and other confectionery sold in over 150 countries around the world. The brand was founded in 1958, and is currently owned by the Italian multinational corporation Perfetti Van Melle. The name of the brand comes from the Spanish verb chupar, meaning “to lick or to suck”’

‘The Chupa Chups logo was designed in 1969 by artist Salvador Dalí’

Wikipedia

CHORDETTESLOTRO

The Chordettes – ‘Lollipop

Bigband and 2NE1 – ‘Lollipop’ (KPOP)

El Medico‘Chupa Chupa’ (warning sexual imagery)

The Sweet‘Ballroom Blitz’

The Strangeloves – ‘I want candy

Len Barry‘123’

‘Its easy, its so easy, like taking candy from a baby!’

LOTRO game play?

Pink Floyd – ‘Candy and a Current Bun’

Odd psychedelia:

‘Ice cream, taste good in the afternoon
Ice cream, taste good if you eat it soon’

To obvious LOTRO reference:

‘Go buy, candy and a currant bun
I like, to see you run
Like that……’

The hobbit run animations, surely!

 

 

LOTRO: TP Grind for Quest Pack DONE!

10 Apr

Thanks to a 1 legged hobbit on RP server Laurelin, Opopa in Breeland, saved the day and did enough slaying of spiders, bandits and orcs (all completed including ADV); as well as basic deeds for wights and barghests; ruins, dunedain and barrow down exploration; and finally Bree rep. I was able to get Lothlorien Quest pack in the 20% sale at 556 tp with 1tp left over!

Burglar play was quite fun…especially liked that he looks like he runs as if on speed – is that the hobbit run animation? Not helped by useless daggers (lv10!) and was amazed to see how expensive a busy server AH is! 7gp for lv20 cyan jewelry! And it may be busy but no lv20-30 daggers on sale!

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If you can help my poor helpless 1 legged hobbit on Laurie give him a PM, even better invite him into a nice kin! I am sorry he is a bit of a lazy beggar, a drunk and a thief… a true RP hobbit burglar!

quest packs

Only 4 more packs to go at the moment… Next up will probably be Wildermore and Gondor so can finally get to level cap with my RK…lingering in Rohan at the moment at lv77! Obviously will probably distract myself by wandering off and doing something else before then… TP grinding sounds useful… but also have Forochel and now Lothlorien to explore…

Oh wonderful LOTRO distractions…

LOTRO: Dour ‘andle!

16 Jan

While searching for The Doors album cover, Google popped up a photo of someone in a hobbit hole door, turns out to be Mr. Peter Jackson. Google knows me so well…

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I was fascinated and followed the link to a great science post on DOOR HANDLES! Really!

READ: http://scienceblogs.com/principles/2012/11/16/hobbits-and-prime-ministers-the-physics-of-doors/

Specifically the science involved in placing/using a door knob placed in the center of the door as illustrated above.

Also discussion of Nr.10 Downing Street (Prime Minister of GB’s official residence) which also has a central door knob (and many would also point out a big knob inside and I wouldn’t disagree at all!)

Fascinating stuff… ends up mentioning hinges as well, which was the first thing I though when I saw the pic above…wouldn’t it become unhinged…LOL a bit like me…

So to wrap up a classic British comedy sketch: Four Candles

(Some discussion about the denouement: Bill Hooks, can be pronounced ‘bollocks’ and if your not sure what that is you better look it up, safe to say some probably think my blog is a ‘load of bollocks’.)

Sauron answered the door of Barad-dûr…
Angry at being disturbed, (and also not having a body as such)…,
“I am Sauron, the Dark Lord of Mordor. What the F*** do you want?”
The small hobbit who had knocked was unfazed by this greeting,
“Sir I am a humble hobbit salesman, I noticed this tower from afar and was wondering if you would perchance be interested in my wares?”
The Dark Lord suddenly interested in this brazen hobbit door to door seller,
“And what you floggin little  un?”
“‘Andles is my name and ‘andles is my game, oh Dark Lord, I think you need a new dour ‘andle!

LOTRO: Middle Earth Air…

23 Oct

Airline of ME

Having fun with running alts through the Haunted Burrow…

Not enough time to play but weekend not too far away…

Wish I could fly today but all work makes for a dull day…

I will get to New Zealand one day, me hopes…

LOTRO: My Feet are Happy as 2 windows of LOTRO are better than 1!

21 Oct

Well my NEWB F2P account huntress Marimere has linked up with Ilcaptanotsu…

‘Will the Krill: You hear that? They’re doing it again!
Bill the Krill: Doing what?
Will the Krill: This.
[starts to dance and laugh frantically]
Bill the Krill: Fascinating. What is it?
Will the Krill: I have no idea.
Bill the Krill: [starts to dance as well] Wow! What’s it for?
Will the Krill: Perhaps it’s a momentary relief from the existential terrors of existence.
Bill the Krill: Oh.
[mumbles]
Bill the Krill: What?
Will the Krill: It brings out my happy!’

Happy Feet 2 – quotation!

2 windows of LOTRO fun…

…my first experience of multiboxing in LOTRO…

And as I am doing it unsupported (NO software) , alt tab (am pretty fast with this as lots and lots of excel sheet hopping the last 15 years!), it is still a stop start kinda affair.

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Using Ilcaptanotsu as my main, his war herald, Fred, and Marimere following. If needed Marimere can let off a few arrows but is faffy to then follow again…so she just tags along, gets XP and drops and most importantly has tracking skills which DO NOT interfere with follow, so can find those tricky mobs for slayer deeds…well its been a great help for Sickle fly slaying at least… (I imagine slug slaying in the Shire will be sped up as well!)

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Looking bleak and bare…graphics on low to help with running the game!

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Nice NEWB outfit Marimere

While Neekering (slaying neekers!) I used Marimere as main, drawing weakened mobs to the war heralds coup de Grace, Fred set on agro also took out a few stragglers as well…so for well populated areas this works quite well, alt tab to Captain for extra oomph! Sorted…

more oomphf

This morning my wife’s computer refused to run LOTRO longer than a couple of minutes so I grabbed my Hobbit presents and ran…

Which reminded me of my lucky 1 legged burgler Opopa …not saying having 1 leg is lucky rather he was lucky with his freebies, he already has a 100 mithril coins and then:

Mightyluckyhobbit

1st gift might tome II…nice

Next day, another gift: Might tome III …even nicer!

Would make Opopa the one legged burglar quite mighty if I used them…will hang on to them for now…

Will be taking Opa through the Haunted Burrow again this year, hope to get to lv20 and start getting some new mathom armour…lv20 stuff…

Its good to get free stuff while playing…

‘Will the Krill: I want to be free, Bill.
Bill the Krill: There is no such thing as free, Will.’

Happy Feet 2 – quotation

So Fall Festival is in effect…time to get running that burrow…why…er why not?

It brings out the happy in me 🙂

LOTRO: HOBBIT DWARVES

30 Jul

 

 

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The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies trailer has been released: WATCH IT

I was amazed at the quality of the vid and managed to grab a nice screenshot. The costume detailing is quite simply amazing!

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I particularly like this scary guy:

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Image

LOTRO: Goblin Butt Kicking Again Soon!

19 May

LOTRO: Goblin Butt Kicking Again Soon!

3 more days of Mum visitation and then hopefully back to LOTRO play as normal…

Back at work after a weeks vacation spoilt by poorly kids and equally sickly self 😦

‘Kaleided’ a pic advertising A Games Workshop product:

Not a miniature collector myself but I loved the image

Original ad: GW site here

hobbit

LOTRO: Bear With Hairy Feet

18 Feb

Don’t worry I am not bare and showing off my hairy feet!

(NOTE: I do not have hobbity hairy feet! I digress which is quite normal for me…)

lick my hairy feet

Don’t lick my hairy feet!

A detail above from an amazing outfit (BELOW) created by The Starry Mantle who has just re-tagged the whole of the blog to enable us to find some of the many many amazing costume posts therein contained.

HERE.

This is a huge huge job (one I keep putting off myself and that why my tags and categories are a wee bit of a disaster…) and what a job has been done…now if you fancy finding something furry you can just select fur. Which is how I found this fantastically cute hobbit/bear!

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Which bed should I sleep on…I must be baby bear!

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How many bears can you count?

I tried again searching for something scouty! and even the results are presented nicely…look at this great detail used to entice me in to looking at the full blog 🙂 I did and I want that mask!

outlaw-wolf-keeper-excerpt

So Cosmetic junky or not give the The Starry Mantle a visit, there are some great, great, GREAT LOTRO shots there 🙂