Tag Archives: Sauron


30 Jan


‘A beginning is a very delicate time. Know then, that it is the year 3018. The Middle Earth is threatened by Sauron. In this time, the most precious object in Middle Earth is the Ring. The ring extends life. The ring expands consciousness. The ring is vital to invisible travel. The Dark Lord, who the ring has mutated over four-thousand years, used the gold ring, which gave him the ability to fold space*. That is, travel to any part of Middle Earth without moving. Oh yes, I forget to tell you. The Ring exists but is lost… The Free men, who have long held a prophecy, a hobbit, would come, who would lead them to true freedom. The place is not really known as Dune.’

* and bend the will of dwarves, elves and men.

Frank Herbert’s DUNE is 50!

The Guardian had a nice article: HERE

Not only do I love the book but David Lynch’s film adaption too: even the credits give me goosebumps but then I like waves as well!


Many dislike it, where I think it is a true CULT CLASSIC, it has stood the test of time, it has embedded itself into my brain, I really do not know how many times I have watched it. More times than the LOTR films, even combined!

I got a ring!

Which reminds me, The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies…

Were-worms …yes Sauron has been to Arrakis and stolen some worms and managed to introduce them to Middle Earth! Truly Dark Magic…and where do they go after appearing?

‘”Tell me what you want done, and I will try it, if I have to walk from here to the East of East and fight the wild Were-worms in the Last Desert.” That is literally all Tolkien ever says about Were-worms.’

From the blog that time forgot

They were worms…where R the worms…?

“OMG I got bitten by a were-worm…now every full moon I will turn into an annelid!”

Sauron: “He who controls the spice controls the universe.”

Spices! Yummy! I did learn the following: ‘Coriander is not cilantro! Deep!’

1 ring to rule them all

Luckily Gandalf didn’t say to Frodo: “He who can destroy a thing, controls a thing.”

LOTRO: Dour ‘andle!

16 Jan

While searching for The Doors album cover, Google popped up a photo of someone in a hobbit hole door, turns out to be Mr. Peter Jackson. Google knows me so well…


I was fascinated and followed the link to a great science post on DOOR HANDLES! Really!

READ: http://scienceblogs.com/principles/2012/11/16/hobbits-and-prime-ministers-the-physics-of-doors/

Specifically the science involved in placing/using a door knob placed in the center of the door as illustrated above.

Also discussion of Nr.10 Downing Street (Prime Minister of GB’s official residence) which also has a central door knob (and many would also point out a big knob inside and I wouldn’t disagree at all!)

Fascinating stuff… ends up mentioning hinges as well, which was the first thing I though when I saw the pic above…wouldn’t it become unhinged…LOL a bit like me…

So to wrap up a classic British comedy sketch: Four Candles

(Some discussion about the denouement: Bill Hooks, can be pronounced ‘bollocks’ and if your not sure what that is you better look it up, safe to say some probably think my blog is a ‘load of bollocks’.)

Sauron answered the door of Barad-dûr…
Angry at being disturbed, (and also not having a body as such)…,
“I am Sauron, the Dark Lord of Mordor. What the F*** do you want?”
The small hobbit who had knocked was unfazed by this greeting,
“Sir I am a humble hobbit salesman, I noticed this tower from afar and was wondering if you would perchance be interested in my wares?”
The Dark Lord suddenly interested in this brazen hobbit door to door seller,
“And what you floggin little  un?”
“‘Andles is my name and ‘andles is my game, oh Dark Lord, I think you need a new dour ‘andle!

LOTRO: What you looking at?

14 Jan

Black Tower

Messing around (digitally) with an old collage I did some years ago, and inspired by ‘Eye Without A Face’ post, I created this artistic interpretation of Sauron’s Black Tower: Barad-dûr.

LOTRO: Saw On Bloggers!

27 Oct

the sauron

The Sauron

Has ring attachments for extra power…although the model lost 1 digit when the most powerful ‘ONE RING’ was lost…

During extended use, and even when left dormant for hundreds of years, the central ‘eye’ may start to flame and exert control over dark forces…

Please do not leave



…It will only become more powerful!

Well this stupidity was inspired by The Guardian Article on great villains in literature article:


Nabbed the picture from this TOOLSTOP (UK) website so if you do decide that you want your own Sauron (Bosch GKS190 190mm Hand Held Circular Saw … 240V (AC)) …to saw on and on… a snap for £115.95…go to the following link:


LOTRO: Bugsy Baggins

3 Oct

Bugsy Malone lotr

Lord of The Rings merged with other movies…

I have done the Dude before (twice!) but what about a Bugsy Malone mix…The Nazgul could be the cops…the Dwarves could be the chorus line…

Fat Sams is obviously Rivendell…that would make Fat Sam Elrond!

Frodo would be Bugsy Malone…

Gandalf could be Blousey Brown!

Frodo: Have you eaten?

Gandalf: Ever since I was a kid.

Frodo: Then how come you’re so skinny, wisey?

Gandalf: Because I watch my weight.

Frodo: Yeah, I do that when I’m broke too.

That leaves Dandy Dan being Sauron…

Sauron: [voice-over] And now my friends, listen to what I’m telling you and listen good. There’s only room for one Mr. Big in Middle-Earth and that’s me, Sauron. And fellas, the time has come for us to play our next card, and believe you’s me, Gandalf and his dumb bumbs ain’t gonna stand in our way.

And it ends with: ‘You give a little LOTR’ where all participants burst into a happy song…together!

An other idea would be

Time Bandits and LOTR…

A boy (Frodo) joins a bunch of dwarves in an adventure to thwart evil (Sauron) aha…not going to be that hard me thinks…

Sauron: When I have the map, I will be free, and the Middle Earth will be different, because I have understanding.

Minion: Uh, understanding of what, Master?

Sauron: Digital watches. And soon I shall have understanding of video cassette recorders and car telephones. And when I have understanding of them, I shall have understanding of computers. And when I have understanding of computers, I shall be the Supreme Being! God isn’t interested in technology. He knows nothing of the potential of the microchip or the silicon revolution. Look how He spends His time! Forty-three species of parrots! Nipples for men!