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LOTRO: Wild Rovers U15.2

4 Feb


‘I’ve been a wild rover for many’s the year
I’ve spent all me money on whiskey and beer
But now I’m returning with gold in great store
And I never will play the wild rover no more
And it’s No, Nay, never,
No, nay never no more
Will I play the wild rover,
No never no more’
The Dubliners – ‘Wild Rover

U15.2 has arrived: ROVING THREATS are now to be found in Angmar, Forochel, Western Gondor, and the Misty Mountains. I presume they will not appear unless the appropriate quest is taken as these are lv100 beasties and will surely eat up and spit out what little remains of any on level solo explorers…

They are not replacements or even a re-introduction of the RARE ELITES that used to be farmed for crafting mats, as these could be taken down by good players on level for the area encountered, and for us more normal players in on level fellowships. I have always enjoyed these encounters and indeed felt that an encounter, and almost certain ‘death’ to a RARE ELITE broke up the monotony of basic/easy LOTRO landscape play.

NOTES are available:

‘I went in to an alehouse I used to frequent
And I told the landlady me money was spent
I asked her for credit, she answered me nay
Such a customer as you I can have any day
And it’s No, Nay, never,
No, nay never no more
Will I play the wild rover,
No never no more’
The Dubliners – ‘Wild Rover

LOTRO: Grim!

16 Dec

Looks like Old Forest to me?

Was a Grim day as I had forgotten that Update 15.1 was released yesterday… I woke up and staggered out of bed only to find LOTRO launcher going into update mode 😦

I was only cheered later to learn that a new cosmetic pet was included (well in the Yule Festival which also started!) the Grim pet… so all you LOTRO playing Wessen beware er…OK i never did get into the show but have watched a few of late with the wife as there is simply nothing else to watch!

And the Grim Pet?

I think it looks cool, there are 3 to collect at 75 token each, I may get 1 if lucky!

Made me check what other cosmetic pets are out there now in LOTRO…

sand flies and frogs…OK i can get with that…can you train your frog to interact with other players fly swarm pet? Just imagine the frog’s tongue flashing out every so often!

Still no ferrets 😦

LOTRO: Ilcapitanotsu & Commedia De Fart!

3 Dec


Interviewer: Here I am with an Ill captain Tsu… from Withywindle server and member of the Family kinship…presumably nothing to do with the murderous cult? I hope you’re feeling better… and his female herald (checks notes)…Fred?, and Huntress guide, Marimere.

Illcaptanotsu: (Standing proudly, chest puffed out, legs spread heroically*, big plumed hat waved energetically, flanked on either side by flag waving herald and bow wielding hunter): Maybe u hear mi? I is… Capitan Spavento della Vall’Infernae e Salvador de los Vírgenes Borrachos (Fred and Marimere eyes roll) also known as Escobombardon e Fanfarone

Marimere (interjects): He does indeed eat a lot of beans…

Illcaptanotsu (flustered):…Il’capi’tano’Tsu,  don’t you make comedy of mi arté, or I stick my foot riaght upya bottom! I ave bigga boots on! I isa not sick…wot stupid man is you…all weak and scrawny like…you a musician or some lessa creature? …The Family kinship, in my umble opinIon is the best thing to ‘appen ever…friendly, fun, ‘elpful and generous ta boot, which I will, as warned apply to ur butt ifa ya don’t show mi respect!

Intervierwer (assuming a fake humble smile and asking with false humility): Of course sir, but prey tell us of your LOTRO Update 15 experiences, a Captain Tsudryt **(looks at FRED, recognition sinking in illuminating his face)…did share his opinions of change in the past… Herald, you know this Captain Tsudyrt**?

Fred: Yes sir, I herald for him as well, he languishes still in Moria, camped out on the Landroval server, he is ready to progress but is waiting for the right time and people…I on the other hand am always on call to aide others and jumped at the chance to aide another Captain Tsu. So here I am in the service of Il capitano…(she waves affectionately at ilcapitano who is obviously, impatiently waiting to become the main focus of the interview again)…he drinks less and thankfully does not have such a fixation for bright orange!

Interviewer (looks over at the leather clad, bow wielding woman behind the captain): and you?

Marimere: I am but a humble huntress, I have joined with the captain to aide in speeding his progress through Middle Earth, initially I was employed as a tracker to hunt down elusive prey but as I know quick routes to far destinations and as I am always willing to share my bag space to carry his excess belongings, I travel light. I normally just follow behind the good captain, and find myself in little peril, unless of course he has been at the beans when I may make myself more active upwind so to speak…

Interviewer (gives a knowing smile and turns back to the impatient foot tapping (and boot wielding!)  captain): so sir can you tell me of your experiences in LOTRO after the recent update 15…?

Ilcapitanotsu: It is sad but tru that many capitano’s di arté are nuttin but chickens dressed as men…all featha no eggs…notta mi! I fighta and I leada men and da women, I is MODerno in mi attitudes to the fairer sex as FRED anda Marimere surely will attesta. I yell my intentiones out to the enemy and I join bodily in battales most mortales and mi fineries doth not conceal mi scares…(shows off most minor of scars…)

Indeed Il capitano is dressed well, no cloak for this man that would conceal his long tunic of navy blue with shiny stars embroidery of silver thread. This tunic over, heavy armour, simply crafted but well-polished and oiled…

Ilcapitanotsu: Wella update fiftin it no affect me much really, no beary types have I encountered, those Beornings I expected to be flooding the fields of Bree, as I am not YET the greatest capitano in Middle Earth the later changes have also not’a affectado mi mucho, the distant lands of Gondor are butt’a like a condor circling soma distant montaña…(looks off into the distance…)

Ilcapitanotsu (Focus back to the interviewer, continuing): Other changes I have not noticed, they chang’d summit about mi banner and I donna use em… now line-a-sight don’t effect it … all about rangé again.

Interviewer: Ok so Update 15 is not really affecting you, can you give us some thoughts about LOTRO generally then?

Ilcapitanotsu: Where to start…wella mi main goal is to earn TP*** cossa mi player(in da Real World!) is now ‘PREMIUM’ again and I must say that Archet is boring as hell and why anyone is expected to want to play LOTRO after spending an hour there is a wonda…I suppose I survived so others must too…

Marimere: Can I please add to this, I recently did the Archet run and as I am based on a completely new account I was amazed at how ungenerous the initial few hours of play are…I mean, 3 bags…really! Lucky I am not into makeup and perfumes…my freebies from LOTRO all pretty useless to be honest took up a bag after a few levels…I binned them all!

Ilcapitanotsu: Yeah yeah…, us veterans should be able to dodge this area for free if you aske mi! But I do like Bree, so mucha a do here. That Mayor hombre sent us on a silly tour de bree, ah notta estupido, I know how use auction house n stuff, but I wasted plenty time crafting  jewelry in crafting hall. Jewels n baubles be important… afta that we all took to Ered Luin and had plenty fun… back to Bree and off killin Orcs was we… now in the Barrow Downs killin wights for Bree rep anna tell ya going well it is…

Interveiwer: Have you had much experience of fellowships?

Ilcapitanotsu: Eh! Ama red blooded hombre anna don’t like that question…I don’t mess with a fellows I likka the ladies, proper higolo I…(Fred whispers into his ear, noticeably red with rage, il capitano calms down)…Oh you mean fellowship grouping, ya? Whirlstorm, a Lore master helpe us outta ina Taradans with lotta killin of broodhunter spids… his over grown legume stalker fing was quite scary…indeed killa brussel sprout springs to mind… cabbage on legs…I like mi ‘repollo’…

Fred and Marimere (in unison, holding their noses and looking sick): WE KNOW!

Ilcapitanotsu:  Same player also has Stormsong, now I got nothing wrong with minstrels they rock and indeed many are more powerful an mi myself…even if they screech and maka lotta noises…now a’capitan needs be noisy in battle too…

Fred and Marimere (in unison, holding their noses and looking sick): WE KNOW!

Ilcapitanotsu (looking oddly at the 2 ladies): Butta need to shout anda screama…(sees their faces) oh ya meana those noises (blushing!)…tis healthy to let loose and indeed in the thick of battle it would be dangerous to be full of such quantities of gases…

Marimere (laughing!): sometimes it is dangerous after you have emptied yourself of those infernal gases!

Interviewer: And what does the future hold for your illustrious self and ladies?

Ilcapitanotsu: Wella more undead to be re-slaughtered in the Barrow Downs, me wanna wrappa that uppa before travelling to yonder Lone Lands and possibly the North Downs… better get moving then, (waves his entourage to depart, bows gracefully and lets out a loud, odorous fart)  Hasta leugo, arrivederci…I bid thee farewell.

Interviewer (taken on a slightly green palor): Bye…

*Truly heroic pose as described in BLACKADDER S3: Sense and Senility

‘M: Yes. The ordinary fellow stands like well… as you do now.
M:  Whereas your hero… stands thus.
(The actors assume a heroic stance – legs spread wide, hips thrust forwards. The Prince follows suit.)
PR: Right. Well, that’s sort of like this…
K:  Excellent, Your Highness. Even more so…
PR: What, oh, like that? (Even wider, standing as if on a ledge. A creak sounds.) What was that noise?
M:  It wasn’t *me*! We are used to standing in this position.
(Another creak.)
PR: It came from over here. (opens a trunk to find Baldrick) Anarchist!
B:  Cleaner!
PR: So you’ve had a wash, that’s no excuse! (starts strangling Baldrick again)
E:  (Enters, amidst the screams) No sir, that is Baldrick spring cleaning.
PR: But he’s, look, he’s got a bomb!
E:  That’s not a *bomb*, sir, that’s a sponge.
PR: Oh yes, so it is. Well, get it out of here at once before it explodes.
(Exit Baldrick, carrying the sponge very gingerly at arm’s length.)’
And later:

‘K:  No, no, no, no… Your Royal Highness. What have you forgotten? 
PR: Oh now look, if I stand any more heroically than *this*, I’m in danger of seriously disappointing my future Queen. 
K:  No, no, Your Highness, not the stance… the *roar*.’

Great Series and here is a great blog that has all the scripts: AllBLACKADDERscripts


*** Turbine Points used to purchase in-game items, in my case I need the expansion Mirkwood for LV60-65.

Images stolen from: Nymphenburg


LOTRO: Who let the BEARS out?

7 Nov

LOTRO UPDATE 15 has arrived and a few had some difficulties updating but other than that nothing has really changed…

I have had minimal LOTRO time this week, enough for hobbit presents basically so here is some YOUTUBE video madness…of course being UPDATE 15 themed all featuring bears…

MUSE uprising – the bears r coming!

Hopefully the Beornings do not cause too much damage…

Jungle Book – The Bare Necessities – Balu the bear

Beorning gear is hot stuff in game…

Legendary Kung Fu fighter

So WOW is not the only games with bear action! Beorning legendaries…(TURBINE please fix LI’s soon!)

Kon from Bleach

We need some funny LOTRO beorning moments please…


I dont play SWTOR they have bears as well?

Tetsuo’s Nightmare…AKIRA

Lets hope LOTRO does not become a nightmare to play!

LOTRO: Ursa Major

5 Nov

Ursa major

So its the 5th of November…I remembered…

Bonfire Night in Britain…fireworks and burning effigies of Guy Fawkes

UPDATE 15 has arrived and finally an in game pic from TURBINE


Uninspiring to the max 😦

Installation hic-ups aside, and there have been few of those of late thankfully, tonight in this land far away from incendiary madness, I hope to be able to enjoy an updated LOTRO. I am looking forward to the patch notes and am hoping for some updates that will better my LOTRO experience…of late I find my time in game less and less enjoyable…I have simply lost the ‘fire’…


Boo! -Tsuhelm having some fun on Windfola…not cashing in tokens!

The Fall festival ended with none of my characters bothering to cash in the fall tokens…

Tsukuld my RK is waiting to experience Mirkwood…

I have a cappy and hunter about to start dwarf bandit butchery in the port of Kheledûl…(TP run for Tsukuld…)

So I wont be getting a beorning just yet…1000Tp needed.

Ursa major will just have to wait until I have finished playing my RK…

But I did learn 1 fact today that may actually be useful in RW:


How to find the north star…by following the line that bisects Ursa major, and ergo how to identify the Ursa minor constellation; The North star is the end of the handle of the little pan…er little bear!

LOTRO: The Bear & Croc!

4 Nov

bear n croc

Go and celebrate the Beorning arrival in style at The Crocodile, SEATTLE, November 5Bear’s Den will be playing…there should be fireworks of the musical kind 🙂

Have a listen:

Stubborn Beast


Bad Blood

Enjoy…U15 just a day away…

LOTRO: Take The Beorning Tour Of LONDON!

3 Nov

The beorning trail

With LOTRO update 15 Middle Earth can be explored in Bear mode… so pack your suitcase, put on a nice rain jacket and hat of choice onto your cuddly beorning and head off…

…Oh and don’t forget your marmalade sarnies…

Actually from Nov 4 there is a new Paddington Bear tour of London where you can visit 50 unique (some naffer than others!) decorated Paddington Bear statues:

34f1085d-91bd-4a09-a17c-6c0b06681306-bestSizeAvailable images

Click on below graphic for details of the actual RW tour…


I have always loved Marmalade Sarnies:

To make your perfect Beorning Sarnie:

2 Slices of Bread of Choice
Butter (yeah I like the creamy unhealthy addition of butter…sans is ok as well…I suppose)
Marmalade* (a quality orange jam, preferably slightly bitter and with rind!)

*not to be confused with the Spanish name for any jam…

Below PB was kidnapped and forced to substitute MARMITE for his normal marmalade!

paddington and sand

LOTRO: Demon Bear!

31 Oct


Based on one of my favourite Comic artists: Bill Sienkiewicz’s ‘Demon Beorning‘…just how did he know…

More of his Beorning pics:

bill_sienkiewicz_demon_bear_dani_moonstar_mirage_sketch_heroes_con_2013 demon bear Bill Sienkiewicz bill sienkiewicz  dany and the demon bear demon bear

For further reading I recommend: When Comic Books Ruled The Earth

“Why a bear?  What am I, a cultural anthropologist?”

New Mutants...

LOTRO: Care Beornings!

30 Oct

Care_Bears_LOTRO 15

LOTRO has reached out and introduced a new RACE/Class in the Beorning, its an obvious land grab of juvenile gamers of a scale not seen since WOW stole the Kung Fu Panda demographic…

Full details will obviously be made known next week but some kind of new armour system is being rolled out where the bonus is illustrated on the beorning’s tummy…the heart sign is surely extra MORALE and the four leaf clover indicates a FATE boost, the other illustrated above are not so obvious.

So old timer LOTRO players please be nice to the huge increase of younger new players…global chat will never be the same again!

To maximize exposure a care bear flavoured Lord of the Rings film is also being released:

A riot of colour is coming to LOTRO gaming soon, enjoy 🙂

(Top secret talks for the incorporation of My Little Pony are still ongoing, but don’t tell anyone I told you so!)

LOTRO: Update 15 Bearing Up!

29 Oct

hofmeister LOTRO

Hoffmeister was a LAGER (beer) I remember from my youth, advertising obviously does work as I can’t remember ever drinking any…I doubt it is still on sale.

Well Update 15 will be arriving next week…on November the 5th of all dates to pick, being British I will not forget:

The Fifth of November

‘Remember, remember!
The fifth of November,
The Gunpowder treason and plot;
I know of no reason
Why the Gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot!’

(You may have encountered this rhyme in V for Vendetta!)

Guy Fawkes actually came from my home town, YORK!

So we can look forward to :

banner-720x156oh Oops that’s the ‘The 15th Annual Geriatrics and Long-Term Care Update will take place on Friday, September 12 through Sunday, September 14 at the Reynolds Center on Aging on the campus of the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences’

We missed it!

No just pulling your leg…

Just realized that there is no graphic released for the LOTRO UPDATE yet!

Nothing in the update is really exciting me but we do get a new race/class to play 🙂


So you better get used to using these phrases( all used in Hofmeister advertising :))

Follow the bear
For great lager follow the bear
I’ve got a bear behind
Ive got the bear essentials
Im bear all over
Bearing Up
Grin and Bear it
Get your bearings
Bear Power
I went 3 rounds with the bear
Cant bear to go home

AND to keep the bear flavour going (I would love to be keeping the beer flowing at this moment!):

Bear necessities…

‘Look for the beorning necessities
The simple beorning necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the beorning necessities
Old Mother Nature’s recipes
That brings the beorning necessities of life’

Baloo’s song from the original Jungle Book

FINALLY a silly poem…please bear with me:

A Beorning is not simply a bare bear
Don’t be yawning, its not boring
Being a beorning in Update 15
Life as a care bear or a were bear
Or simply Winnie the Poo bear
Don’t be grizzly, or go polar…
Go down under for a cola with a Koala
To be or ning is the question…
In the beginning your own pit to play in
At the end a whole middle earth to quest in.
Go wild little beorning, fly be free
Gather your bear necessities
Go anthropomorphic and drink tea
Ursine wonders lately introduced
Unlikely to WOW with kung fu panda thrills
Three trees of skills to be loosed
At present it’s a bear market for LOTRO…
But everyone will love your new teddy
Let out a huge bellow
Don’t be a bugbear like Yogi, leave peoples picnic baskets alone…
Bear hugs all round…
Here’s hoping update 15 will astound…